After a blisteringly hot day, the sun had finally set. The relief from the hot moisturless air was palpable. The night sky stood in a cover of painful darkness held only the smallest of the stars freckled only by the fewest stars, where a few hours ago there was a blue summer day.
In the dead of night, even the city lights ebbed to a mere inkling. They dwindled to a smattering of tenacious night owls. Outside in the middle of darkness, the evening has just been over. Filling up with small specks of light, shinning like a million fireflies. The darkness little by little fading, the moon has just arrived. Impenetrable and disorientating darkness stars visible, black and grey clouds, crescent moon. Procession of headlights on the highway.
Absurdity has taken everything. She sucked the bright marrow of the fires of confrontation. In the dark nights, she plucked the stars from the sky. Even the god of light was not spared as he plunged to the ground never to return. The darkness came and brought with it the illness, thoughts and specters of the memories that coalesce at our doors during the night, we beg them to let us sleep to forget but they force the door to enter. We are abandoned now in this endless night. The god of light kills himself and something worse has replaced him.
It was a piece of madness that I’m playing. Who am I? A voice from the darkness said you are an actor, as the one in the theater. Why do I exist? A voice from the darkness said: Do wonder to know why do you exist? I said: Yes, for sure. It laughed for a moment and with a quiet replay said: To play this role.
This role hasn’t any sense, this piece is a nonsense. My existence hasn’t any sense. I’m trapped in this scene when there are no-sense to everything. Nothing makes sense, anything wouldn’t make sense. Where is the sense? I am tumbled in this endless nonsense, where my ideas want to make sens. Why do I do that? To find some consolidation. My ideas are as a jiggling particles oriented by their energies moving everywhere. Neither I don’t know where are they going? Nor, I don’t know where are they taking me? Just as the water flows in peace I flow, as it’s running in nature and nourishing the living. It makes everything to grow and to be beautiful. That doesn’t make sense to nature. It’s a dynamic that the nature was pursuing from its first moment of existence.
There’s nonsense to life. I do not give a sense to life through my ideas and actions, but I am content to contemplate and act within the dynamics of life.
Absurdity was always the moment when the confrontations that resided in me came out to play; to bring out the worst in me. Nevertheless, that day was different, that day my revolt decided to shield me from the darkness, suffering and misery. My heart didn’t throb; my soul became free and flew as a bird in the sky. With every moment came stillness, and, with every breath, exuberance. All I could think of was happy, and only happy.